Thus spoke science

Thus spoke science

Melba Ketchum, commenting on the creation of a Go Fund Me campaign looking for support to collect a wood ape specimen.

Let’s just break this down, shall we?

“Killing something illegally and out of season is wrong on so many levels.”

It’s illegal to kill an imaginary animal? And “out of season” suggests “in season.” When is bigfoot season, exactly? And is it more wrong to kill one animal or let its entire kind wither and die due to ignorance of its existence? What does her scientific Brazilian blowout tell her about that?

“I know they exist in large numbers but nobody has actually counted them so they could be considered endangered until proven otherwise.”

They can’t be shown to be endangered until they can be studied over time. They won’t be studied at all until they’re proven to exist. They won’t be considered anything until they’re proven to exist.

“They might not make it out of the woods alive if they do kill one.”

Your concern is touching.

“There are entities in this country that will seize the body.”

I love the smell of conspiracy in the morning. I assume she’s not talking about the Sierra Club.

“They will also be a target while they are trying to move the body.” 

Targeted by whom? These shadowy governmental entities? Eco-terrorists? Protestants?

“Native legends tell of worse revenge they will take. I have seen proof of this.”

Cue creepy music. Seriously, woman of science!? Native legends? Have we suddenly fallen into an Egyptian mummy movie?

Melba Ketchum is a joke. Period.

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Posted in Miscellaneous sasquatchery
5 comments on “Thus spoke science
  1. Hahahahahahahaha – well that was today’s entertainment.

  2. Marc Burroughs says:

    Iv’e got my squtch tags…don’t you?

  3. idoubtit says:

    My gaster is flabbered. Who would give her money? She has no qualifications for this. I prefer my sciencey stuff to be done by scientists.

  4. F-89 says:

    I’d like to know what her “proof” of a horrible revenge she has see with her own eyes.
    “I know something terrible that you don’t have a clue about” Ah well, it was entertaining at least.

  5. […] from a half-human, half-bigfoot “type specimen.” The kind of type specimen she said the other day would doom its finders/creators with ancient native curses and/or government […]

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